I was suppose to go visit teach this morning, when my tummy decided to punish me. The pain was excruciating, and unbearable. I thought I was going to die---I called the the sister that we visit taught and told her the situation. She is kindhearted sister (a Filipino) and she understood, but I felt bad for my vt companion though. While in pain, my Japanese friend called me and asked how I was doing, she sounded like she knows what I am feeling at the moment, strange. I have so many angels around watching over me, and one of them is my loving husband.
I was trying to update the blog last night, and i did not noticed the time, it was very late after I finally finish it, but when it was time to publish it----error-I was mad. Never do the blog in bed. Anyway, I published this morning.
I have to pick up my husband in two hours, he is going to take me to the GI doctor. John is very busy now a days so I have to help lighten his burden at work a little bit by picking him up instead of picking me up at home.
Honestly, there are times that I wonder if I am going to die soon. Though the cancer is gone, according the doctors and labs, I have some complication that sometime terrifies me when I think of it. My weight dropped rapidly, and my food intake is very poor. I have been having strange dreams that my dead relatives coming to pick me up for a trip, and they scolded me for not having my luggage ready. Gee. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I am not saying that I am not going to die, nor I am saying that I am going to die soon. Oh my goodness, where is my faith? I know I have, and because of that FAITH that I always have, I am always overcome the hardest. My faith in God always gives me HOPE and COMFORT. Okazaki says, "the sources of HOPE are the sources of LIFE itself; to choose Hope is to choose LIFE; to choose HOPE is to choose LOVE".
I hope I can survive in this ordeal and enjoy the beautiful life with my loving husband Johnny, he is my partner in everything that I have been through. I don't forget that God's thoughts are not ours, His ways are the greatest.
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4 comments:
Lorena, you are strong. You can do this. You've already beaten the odds and overcome some pretty crazy and amazing obstacles. Remember your faith in Christ and don't let little setbacks consume you. You are an inspiration to those who know you. You give strength and hope to others. You're one of the most faithful, strong people I know. Don't give up or dwell on the possibility of death. Let's face it, we are all going to die, that's a universal truth. But we each also have the gift of life, and it's what we do during that span of time (however short or long) that really matters to the Lord. Every minute you spend fretting over your time of death is a minute wasted.
You and Johnny have such a wonderful marriage, I'm glad you have each other for support. Give him a hug for me, and tell him to give YOU a hug for me! :) I love you! I'm thinking of you today and every day.
Lorena
i'm so sad that you are not doing well. i love and admire you greatly. i hope and pray that you will get better soon.
Lorena, we were glad to hear from johnny that you're feeling better! we'll continue to pray for your continued health and recovery. Take care!
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